babies Archives - A Baby on Board blog

Your Body After Pregnancy: 10 Weird Things NO-ONE Tells You

Gillian — Wed, 03 May 2017 13:39:13 +0000

Here Are 10 Weird Things No-one Tells You About Your Body After Pregnancy What are the weird things no-one tells you about your body after pregnancy? I spent most of my first pregnancy eagerly reading all the information I could get my hands on about pregnancy and also childbirth. There’s a lot of attention focused on the birth, isn’t there? Especially during NCT classes. But What Happens After Pregnancy? But what happens after can be a bit of a mystery, especially when it comes to your body after pregnancy. Something you can’t quite get your head around while you’re lying on the sofa with a nine-month baby bump and the entire contents of the fridge. There are things you are pretty sure will happen because everyone tells you, hence why you stockpile *those* giant sanitary towels and the Arnica pills you never get round to taking. But when it all actually happens, you realise there’s a whole load of things about your body – and mind – after pregnancy that people kind of forget to tell you about…the weird things that happen to your body after pregnancy… What No-one Tells You About Your Post-Pregnancy Body 1. Afterpains You’ve gone through labour, had the baby, then it’s plain sailing from there on the pain front, right? Oh wait, here come the afterpains. Who invited them to the party? I don’t remember these from the first time but second time round, they felt like contractions (which seemed very unfair; hadn’t I JUST done this?). They do go quickly though, thankfully. 2. Night sweats after pregnancy Oh MY, the post-birth night sweats. What are they all about*? Why does no-one ever tell you THIS about your body after pregnancy? (* It’s your body’s way of getting rid of all that extra pregnancy fluid. But that’s not the first thing on your mind at 3am when you wake up stuck to the sheets thinking ‘What’s wrong with me now?!’). 3. Your giant boobs when your milk comes in Forget the tooth fairy, the boob fairy is where it’s at in terms of mythical creatures when you’re a new mum. I knew, rationally, that my milk would come in at some point. But what I didn’t expect was to go for a quick nap and then wake up, suddenly, transformed into Dolly Parton’s leaky-breasted lookalike. Just like that. Giant boobs. 4. Day Three and the case of the hormonal horrors Midwives do broach this subject, somewhat tentatively telling you that you might feel a little bit blue a few days after you’ve given birth. Which doesn’t really explain the feeling when one minute you’re riding high on the post-birth rollercoaster, euphoric, your deliciously amazing baby snuggled sweetly next to you then the next you’re plummeting right to the bottom of the bottom, holding on to the baby for dear life while crying and wailing ‘I’m FINE’ in the style of Ross from Friends, while all the good hormones sprint away from your body as fast as they can, pulling the rug out from under your great mood, hopes, dreams and aspirations as they go. And then you’re back up. And down. And repeat (it gets better; it does get better, soon. Here’s a tissue). 5. Breastfeeding hunger… I was never as hungry as I expected when I was pregnant, so this was a big surprise. Everyone told me breastfeeding would make me thirsty – which it really does – but I had no idea how starving it would make me. Proper, must-have-food-now, drop-everything-right-this-very-second-or-I’ll-gnaw-the-remote-control-and-then-your-hand, all-consuming hunger. Which is tricky when you’re often trapped on the sofa feeding (top tip – gather snacks first before you sit down. Here’s some more breastfeeding tips). 6. …and breastfeeding cravings: My pregnancy cravings were really, really boring (no pickles and ice-cream for me! Just cereal, milk and all these). But along with the breastfeeding hunger, baby feeding gave me major cravings for anything sweet. And custard. And custard doughnuts. And if there’s one time you can indulge yourself it should be now. You’ve just had a baby, you’re amazing! Don’t even think about diets. Pass the doughnuts. 7. The chills and the shakes Having been kept warm by a baby for the past nine-and-a-bit months, I remember being constantly freezing as a new mum. Despite having the heating turned up to tropical 24 / 7 to the extent that all our visitors had to strip off before they passed out. My milk coming in also gave me major full body shakes and at one point I was wrapped in a duvet sat on top of a radiator, trying not to let my chattering teeth wake the baby. 8. Phantom baby kicks: You get used to a small child tapdancing on your uterus, don’t you? But even a long time after birth I swear you can still feel the kicks. This happens to everyone, right? 9. Sleep deprivation as a new mum Actually, everyone tells you about this, usually when you mention pregnancy insomnia ‘It’s preparing you for having a baby, ha!’ Well it’s not really and it doesn’t really. Sleep deprivation is a shocker which is hard to explain unless you’ve done it. It’s hard – it’s not just you. You just have to get through it and be extra kind to yourself. And try not to kick all the ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ brigade. 10. Post-pregnancy mood swings and emotions: Along with all the day three shenanigans, you’re likely to have some major mood changes after pregnancy, good and bad. Sleep deprivation and hormones can make even the shiniest sparkly things dull. And it can remove your rational filters; I had huge rows with my husband over the smallest of things, usually one-sided because he’d left the room. I felt every emotion going, and woe betide anyone who crossed me with my massive dose of the post-pregnancy rage (all conducted via internal monologue, of course). Some days I felt absolutely nothing at all. Some days I cried because I loved the baby […]

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Five Reasons I Won’t Miss The Baby Days

Gillian — Wed, 15 Mar 2017 04:50:27 +0000

Five Reasons I Won’t Miss The Baby Days… It’s All Change Here: No More Babies Why I won’t miss the baby days…Since one mini member of our household started school and the other moved up to the toddler room at nursery, it seems like we are firmly out of the baby days. There are no longer any No eye-wateringly bright Lamaze toys littering our floorboards, me and my NCT class friends no longer even have lengthy debates about how to pronounce Lamaze and our cupboards are completely free of clothes that require fastening with poppers. It’s Unchartered Territory I know we have been technically out of the baby days for ages, but it seems like something that takes a while to get your head around. I still think I have babies (kind of) and still think of myself as a new mum (because what’s the alternative? Mum mum sounds like my mum. Old mum is…well, unappealing, for obvious reasons). It’s also unchartered territory as this far into toddlerdom last time I was pregnant again and preparing to be in baby central once more. The Eternal ‘Shall We Have Another Baby?’ Debate And it’s likely that we will stay in unchartered territory as we will be clearly debating this for infinity (Usually me, with myself, mainly in my head, because my head says one – sensible – thing then my hormones say another, usually ‘you must have another baby! Noooow!’ Always at completely inappropriate times. Followed by this frenzied conversation. ‘Me: Shall we have another baby? SHALL WE?! My husband: It’s the middle of the day! I’m in a meeting! Don’t text me now.’) 5 Reasons I Won’t Miss The Baby Days But while where we are at is bringing up some conflicting emotions, I can totally see the benefits of being here. So here’s the things I won’t miss as we wave bye to the baby days: The everlasting empty day: People who say ‘the days are long but the years are short’ really aren’t kidding, are they? I’m standing here now looking back wondering where those years went but also reeling at the memory of those early baby and toddler days that start at the dawn of time and stretch on forever, where it’s always raining and someone’s crying and you’ve done everything and already eaten lunch and it’s only 9am. Followed by a long stretch of time topped off by the time from 6.50-7pm that lasts at least 24 hours. The school run now gives us two hard stops and more structure, which, as annoying as it can be, means we leave the house and it breaks the day up somewhat. It’s now a novelty to do nothing. Never knowing what was wrong: Despite the reason usually being wind / viral / hunger, you can’t really ask a baby what’s up and ever get a satisfying response, can you? Which can you leave floundering. Now if a distress signal sounds I can ask the question and get an answer (which is usually ‘I’ve lost my Barbie!’ or ‘We need more snacks.’) Teething: I will never, ever miss this. We now have this instead. The massive baby bag: I do not miss constantly lugging around the massive baby bag of stuff up and down stairs and in and out of the house and on and off the pram (the giant bag that contains ten changes of babygros and 500 nappies and wipes but never any wipes when you need them, the usual things). It’s so much easier to travel light now. Apart from ten changes of clothes, a million crayons, drinks, snacks… Having no-one to chat to around the house in the day: Both of my children are now fully formed little people who have opinions and you can hold actual conversations with. Often for hours without getting a word in edgeways. They are fun and brilliant to be around and do random stuff like agree to pose for photos with me (about 2% of the time). And they play, with each other. This doesn’t happen for AGES with second children, but when it does it gets really good. The other day they played together for a really long time. I *gasp* read a magazine.I went to make a cup of tea. I drank it. I tidied some things in a pile. They played on. I flexed my empty hands and got out my phone to text my husband…oh wait. However, Here’s What I DO Miss About The Baby Days: The excitement and promise of pregnancy / tiny babies and meeting them for the first time / the awe and wonder of all the firsts and watching them unfold into life / tiny babies, asleep on your chest. Tiny… Oh, baby. Must not text my husband at work…must not text my husband at work… Once You’ve Read My Post On Why I Don’t Miss The Baby Days: Read more posts…things they don’t tell you in NCT classes, Everything you’ll obsess about in the first year Follow me on Pinterest and our Bugaboo Bee 5 review

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Just Found Out You’re Pregnant…? Read This!

Gillian — Mon, 23 Jan 2017 22:17:26 +0000

Have You Found Out You’re Pregnant…? Make Sure You Read This Post! Just found out you’re pregnant? I know this is the most popular time for people to find out about pregnancies and lots of people come by looking for pregnancy information. So hello! If You’ve Just Found Out That You Are Pregnant, Read These Posts For everyone who is pregnant or those who think you might have early pregnancy symptoms – eeek – here’s all my favourite and most useful posts about pregnancy and birth: And early pregnant checklist. One of my favourite posts *ever*, 24 things they don’t tell you in NCT classes, but *definitely* should (this list grows by the day…) If you’re pregnant and commute, here’s how to get a Baby on Board badge (but would you wear one?) I loved reading pregnancy diaries when I was expecting, so here’s all my week-by-week pregnancy diary posts with baby one and baby two. Cravings, rage and inappropriate comments feature heavily…which brings me on to: How *not* to speak to pregnant women – a handy guide (I still have haven’t forgiven the woman in the bank). Here’s what no-one ever tells you about pregnancy and what no-one ever tells you about the third trimester. Also 19 pieces of advice to myself, on the eve of giving birth…. …plus pregnancy life hacks to make what can be a tricky time that little bit easier. And if you love reading birth stories, here’s Eliza’s induction birth story and Florence’s speedy second delivery birth story. And If You’ve Just Found Out You’re Pregnant Again, Here Are All My Favourite Posts About Second Pregnancies. It’s not as easy the second-time-round – much less nap potential, sadly – here’s some unavoidable truths about pregnancy when you have a toddler Here’s how to tell the toddler about a new baby and things to do before the second baby arrives. Are you a future mum of two? Here’s my (non) advice. And further down the line, here’s all the things I love about being a mum of two and life with two children? What other mothers never tell you.

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Don’t call me baby

Gillian — Thu, 06 Oct 2016 04:50:00 +0000

How long can you call your youngest child – who might well be somewhere in the region of, say, around 23-and-a-bit months – a baby? Asking for a ‘friend’ who had a conversation recently while out for lunch that went something like this: Friend: Oh, the baby can have this off the menu… Friend’s husband: *Interrupts* Who? Friend: The BABY – you know! Our youngest child Friend’s husband: She’s not a baby! She’s nearly two! Friend: Arghhh *downs largest glass of imaginary wine on the menu* Oh, man, my friend just can’t give it up can she? And…oh, yes, it’s me. But seriously, how long can you legitimately call them a baby for? I know that clearly she’s definitely a toddler and all that brings with it, and has been for a long long while. Especially as she now calls other younger children ‘baby’. And has very definite opinions about what she wants to wear (yellow wellies) and have from the menu. And I know I’m much less obsessed about the passing of baby milestones second time round – we recently threw the cot out without a backward glance, probably because it had been taking up room in our room forever, we never used it and it really hurt when you walked into it in the dark. So no nostalgia about that. And I only really know her age in months as it’s so close to the end of when you even refer to them in months. It’s not like I’m clinging on to the last fragments of the baby days, wailing. But, oh baby. I still call her that…it’s almost like a reflex action really, isn’t it? Just because she’s the youngest and isn’t that what she is? There also seems like something so final about not having a baby any more, especially as there’s no immediate plans for a third baby (especially not today when I’ve just spent most of my life doing bedtime). So as one normally does in these moments of medium drama, I asked my mum. ‘You and your brothers will always be my babies!’ She said. Me and my brothers are all in our mid-to-late thirties. So I reckon there’s still some time left. More posts, how not to do bedtime, truth and lies in Topsy and Tim and just had a baby? Here’s some terrible advice.

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The inevitable third baby question

Gillian — Thu, 22 Sep 2016 09:21:47 +0000

Oh, the third baby question. Life as an adult seems to consist of inevitable question after slightly irritating and nosy inevitable question, doesn’t it? Starting with ‘When will you get a job now you’ve graduated?’ (Answer: ‘Erm…right after I’ve watched this Friends repeat, again’) and ‘Do you want another drink?’ (‘Make mine a double!’) to ‘When will you get married?’ (‘Don’t ask me! No, ask me, please!’) and ‘Are you buying a house?’ (‘I can’t seem to find the deposit down the back of the sofa…’). And then inevitably, when you read a certain age or stage it’s ‘When are you having a baby?’ (‘Do you mind? Awkward’) Then no sooner have you had one than you get ‘When are you having another?’ (‘Guys, my stitches haven’t even healed yet….and I’m still dealing with all of this‘) People kind of lose interest after you have two as they assume that that’s it, job done. So where it should be a refreshing breathing space, it’s a surprise to myself that the person asking the inevitable question this time round is…me. And I’m very persistent. ‘Are we having another?’ (Answer: ‘I have no idea what the answer is!’). And I really don’t. Having a third baby is a big step and there are so many signs that it is not such a brilliant idea (for *us* – obviously it works for lots of people, all babies are lovely and I’m one of three). We have two amazingly happy and healthy children, but then I think when both are kicking off in tandem and my mind is about half a second away from flying out of the window because I still haven’t had a full night of sleep in about 400 years and we’d need to move house and we could never go anywhere because I only have two hands and it’s not practical and it’s getting so much nicer now they’re older and brilliant to chat to and fun and I don’t have to watch them every two seconds and I’d want a big gap and I’m kind of getting on a bit now, and wouldn’t some sleep be nice? And, oh yeah, my husband isn’t keen which is kind of a big issue, really. 90% of the time my ovaries are brandishing a placard saying ‘Out for lunch…FOREVER.’ But then… …10% of the time they’re whispering in my ear, saying ‘Oh hey there, just us! Saying hi.’ Have you ever seen Avenue Q? It’s like the Bad Idea Bears – the two bears who pop up and suggest those tantalisingly tempting things, like ‘one more drink’ on a school night – just sitting there on my hormonal shoulder, reminding me that they’re there: Me: That’s it, I’ve decided. No more babies. Just not practical. I’m hanging up my Pregnacare! Them: But you loved pregnancy Me: Erm…I guess that’s kind of true Them: Imagine never doing it again Me: You guys! Shh, stop it… Them: Newborn babies… Me: ARGHHHH! *Runs off screaming into a pit of indecision*. Do you ever know for certain if you’re done? I’m not sure if that’s the best judge of anything because I’m not sure you ever feel done and that could lead to a long and complicated time of being hostage to your hormones, when there’s so many practical things to take into consideration. But what I think is apparent is that everyone I know who doesn’t want another definitely doesn’t want another to the extent that they know for sure, by 110% at least, that they don’t want another. Whereas I’m just sat here with my 10%. It’s a question I can’t ever see myself answering either way. More questions…about children’s TV, 24 questions about time and the politics of Paw Patrol, I have some questions…

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Babies And Building Work: Ten Things Kirstie And Phil Don’t Tell You

Gillian — Tue, 05 Jul 2016 05:07:43 +0000

The Joys Of Babies And Building Work…And The Construction Dust… Oh, the joys of home building work when you have small children. And renovating while you’re pregnant. And dealing with with construction dust and a newborn. What are all the things Kirstie and Phil don’t tell you about house renovations when you have babies and toddlers? Apparently we are a week away from our loft conversion being finished. But it’s been happening for so long I can’t imagine it ever being over. Or ever getting rid of the dust. Oh, the dust… I’m Obsessed With Property Programmes…So We Took The Renovation Plunge I’m clearly a true child of the 80s as I am, like most people I know of my era, obsessed with house prices and property. And property programmes, of course. We watch them all, from Grand Designs to Small Spaces to Homes Under the Hammer (a maternity leave guilty pleasure…tell me it’s not just me?) And two and a half years ago we took Kirstie’s Location x 3 advice and went for the worst, most woodchip-covered house on the street. Before then the most extensive DIY work we’d done was painting followed by drinking wine, or calling a parent to come down from Sheffield to take us to IKEA, again (sorry, Gill and Keith). Since then, we have had everything done – from having a new downstairs loo put in, as well as new kitchen, new bathroom, new loft conversion, side return extension and completely redecorated the house. All while I was pregnant, or with a newborn, baby and toddler. Renovating While Pregnant: House Construction During Pregnancy Renovating has been a learning curve as steep as the stairs we had removed, especially renovating while pregnant – yes, true to form we moved into a new house, started a renovation and then I discovered I was pregnant again. When thinking about doing a house construction during pregnancy, we just decided to go for it as quickly as possible as we thought it was better to get as much as possible done before the baby. However, bear in mind that renovating while pregnant can be super hard, especially in the first trimester when all you canto do is sleep or loll around feeling sick – and you have loads of tradespeople coming and going at all hours, noisy work going on and lots of dust. Everywhere. Dealing With Construction Dust And A Newborn Renovating with a newborn can also be tricky, especially when you’re dealing with construction dust and a newborn. Advice I would give when it comes to dealing with construction dust and a newborn is: Get an understanding builder who has children, and can work around things like naptimes (there’s nothing worse than getting your newborn to sleep and someone starts demolishing a wall). Keep an area of the house – at least one room – clean and dust free. This way you can sit in here with the baby, away from everything Have separate shoes to wear while looking at the building area that you don’t wear in your ‘clean’ room – this will help keep the dust out. Put as many of your possessions in storage / in the shed / somewhere else, so there are less things around to collect the construction dust. Home renovations with small children running around is a particular kind of project to manage. So two and a half years of building work in, here’s ten things Kirstie and Phil and Sarah Beany and George Clark and Kevin McCloud don’t tell you about the joys of building work when you add small children into the mix: P.S. despite the fact we are never, ever moving again, ever, I still look at Rightmove, for fun. 10 Things About Babies And Building Work: Someone really does always gets pregnant…One of the things Alex and I always joke about is the amount of people who are pregnant on house renovation shows, always at a really tricky time of the renovation. ‘New baby, new house!’ my mum said to me when we first moved in here. ‘Haha!’ I said. Oh wait…Pregnancy does have the advantage of giving you a very definite deadline. But it’s no fun being pregnant with no bathroom. Or no kitchen. And it makes nesting very difficult when your nest is feathered with dust sheets. But it’s great fun when one of your strange pregnancy cravings is wallpaper removal. You need to get a builder who tidies up each night. The children will be drawn magnetically towards DIY danger…If there’s a stray nail lying around, they will find it, 100% guaranteed. While lurching towards any kind of open hole in the wall, open paint can or the loft stairs with no banisters. Yikes. Thankfully they also get bored pretty quickly. It turns your house into a giant version of Mouse Trap. You can’t go upstairs as they’re demolishing most of it. You can’t go out the back as it’s raining dust and nails and there’s the added excitement that a hammer might drop from three stories up. You can’t get out anyway as scaffolding’s blocking the door. You can’t get out of the front door with a pram as there are piles of stuff on the path. You can’t get to the kitchen as the future bathroom stuff is there. It’s like a very weird soft play. Or the Crystal Maze, if Richard O’ Brian was replaced by Bob the Builder. It makes domestic life tricky. There’s no-where to dry the washing. Probably the most boringly domesticated point ever made on this blog, but there you go. You can’t dry it in the loft as it’s being demolished. You can’t dry it outside because see above. And the scaffolding is blocking the line. Obviously during this is the time of sick children and loads and loads of sheets and towels. Having a serious conversation with a tradesman? One of the following will happen: your child will urgently urgently want something non-urgent. Your […]

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April showers and a Muddy Puddles review

Gillian — Wed, 27 Apr 2016 21:25:29 +0000

Muddy Puddles review – looking for weatherproof children’s raincoats? If you’re looking for children’s raincoats that are actually weatherproof, read our Muddy Puddles review. Can we just take a second to talk about the weather please? Snow, in April? May is just around the corner. I don’t want to be one of those weather-obsessed people, although clearly I am, but brrr, Yesterday we were feeling a bit stir crazy from being cooped up in the house all afternoon, not helped by us being confined to one room due to the building work, so we bundled up and went outside for some fresh air. Ages ago I wrote a post on ways to turn a bad day back around and I reckon getting out of the house would still be top of the list as fresh air makes everything better, even if it’s only for five minutes. Testing Out our Muddy Puddles Coats and Boots The sky was an ominous and oppressive shade of dark grey so the guys were wore their raincoats and boots we were sent from from Muddy Puddles (although I didn’t expect to be testing them out in a snow storm). We were sent the Muddy Puddles Puddle Pac-a-mac – Eliza opted for the Orange Ripple design which is £20 and comes in seven incredibly colourful options including an umbrella design and the same blue raindrops as on Flo’s suit (which is the Puddle Pac All-in-one in raindrop design and £25. It’s quite big so one to grow in to). Both of mine wear wellies with *everything* and we always go for the brightest ones, so loved the lightening flash design on Flo’s. Eliza was sent Puddleflex Wellies (£24) which are more of a winter design with a polar fleece lining, drawstring top and furry trim. The coats aren’t lined so are more suited to warmer weather or wearing over the top of something else (although neither of my children seem to feel the cold, unlike me) There’s nothing better than brightly coloured children’s outerwear, is there? It’s just so cheerful. Despite the fact that clearly, winter is coming x. We were sent these item to review by Muddly Puddles. More posts..parkas for the park, five ways to update your wardrobe for spring and a mini toddler room rour. You can also follow me on Pinterest

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When your 18-month-old doesn’t sleep through the night

Gillian — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 05:10:14 +0000

What happens when your 18-month-old doesn’t sleep through the night? I know, I know, I talk about sleep a lot, and it’s probably quite boring, and everyone’s tired as a parent and everyone’s tired, but it’s such a big thing when you’re a parent, because it’s such a big thing. When you’re a new parent sleep is rarer than rubies and more hunted than the Loch Ness Monster. If there was some kind of sleep eBay it would be the most highly-trafficked site online, after Google (and all of the millions of desperate 3am ‘why is my baby awake?’ searches). But what about a year and a half on, when your baby is no longer a newborn, no longer a baby even – and they’re still not ‘sleeping though’? What happens when your 18-month-old doesn’t sleep through the night? I don’t have the magic answer (obviously) or any tips or advice (clearly). But I just wanted to say, if your 18-month-old doesn’t sleep through, then join my – tired – club. It’s not just you…although it might feel like it at times. Things you know when your toddler doesn’t sleep though: Long-term lack of sleep or multiple wake-ups a night sends everything slightly off-kilter, which is hard when you need to be right at the top of your game and the other players are maverick mini A-list sports stars who write their own rules, in crayon You find yourself in rooms wondering why you’re in them a lot. Or forgetting things, like shopping, or conversations you’ve just had, or the end of sentences in conversations you’re currently having. And it’s too late to blame baby brain (isn’t it?!) People stop asking ‘is she good?’ or ‘does she sleep through?’ because they expect it to have happened ages ago. It’s not even really a topic of conversation any more so you stop talking about it You teeter precariously on the brink of many emotions. Most things are annoying, and you ask yourself AIBU a lot (the post-baby rage is still real) You know never to tell the health visitor your baby doesn’t sleep because they seem to think it’s abnormal (mine told me at F’s one year check ‘but if she wakes up so often then she won’t get proper rest! You need to make her sleep.’ Which was both a) super helpful and b) clearly, the last time I saw her) Sugar and caffeine are close friends You carry on as normal because that’s what you do, and there’s nothing else you can do, and everything’s fine, and then suddenly in a split second you’re blowing up about something and no-one really gets it, because they expect you to be a reasonable and rational person and you just can’t be. Both of mine aren’t great sleepers, in beautifully unique ways. First time, I was shocked, at first. I read lots of books, I googled everything, a lot, mostly at this time, looking for the magic answer or simple thing I’d missed. Second time I was more prepared for it. We had a Snuzpod bedside cot, we moved on to co-sleeping (we still co-sleep). I had much more realistic expectations and much more knowledge. But you know what? 18 months on, I’m just really, really tired. I wrote about things they don’t tell you in NCT classes, but I kind of think there are things we really should tell mums-to-be about sleep: People – from relatives to old ladies in the supermarket – will constantly ask you if they’re ‘good’ or ‘sleeping through’ and it’s bloody annoying. Just grit your teeth and smile Everyone has an opion on sleep, but it’s not making a rod for your own back to do anything that helps that works for you and your baby That it’s not a given that your baby will pass six months, or one year, or even two, and automatically sleep for long amounts of time, and that there’s nothing wrong with them and often it’s just babies and how they are And there’s so many things that can disturb the night, from teeth through to separation anxiety or just because. And even on the nights when they do sleep better, you’ll be awake trying to hear them breathe, or missing them, or having the 4am fear about something ridiculous like ‘Did I turn the oven off?’ Although motherhood is magical and amazing, the lack of sleep thing is just rubbish and it’s OK to admit it That sleeping through is a ridiculous term anyway (what does it even mean? And how many adults sleep ‘through’ the night, all night?) That it’s almost 100% likely that it’s nothing you’ve done, it’s not your fault, and that it will be OK – soon. Tea, anyone? If you liked my post on when your 18-month-old doesn’t sleep through, then read more posts…If baby milestone cards were made for mums, brilliant benefits of being second and our favourite wastes of time

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21 irritating things that inevitably happen during naptime

Gillian — Tue, 15 Mar 2016 05:05:39 +0000

How do I love thee, naptime? Let me count the ways… Naptime is an oasis of calm, a parenting pause in the middle of the day. It’s the golden hour (plus a bit longer, if you’re lucky). It’s tea, toast and headspace – the chance you get to do all of these. As great as your kids are, it’s nature’s gift to knackered mums and dads. (Although second time round, it’s more of a military operation of shushing your younger child while simultaneously and counterproductively whispering loudly at the first to be as quiet as possible, but it’s as much of a rest as you’re likely to get as a mum of two, so I’ll take that). I recently walked past a house which had a sign in the window saying ‘Baby napping ! Don’t ring the bell.’ Which struck me as a great idea, as with so much riding on the short window of sleep, it’s inevitable that something will go wrong and scupper your chances of anything you had planned, especially if that plan is ‘do nothing at all.’ As with the mother law, there seems to be a naptime law in this house – where, if the baby will actually nap in the first place – everything that can go wrong, will, only ever during the time that they’re asleep. The first hurdle is always a) getting the baby to nap and also b) getting them to nap at a reasonable time of day that’s during the day, and not at the end of it. And then? One of these is always likely to happen… The baby sleeps…on you (Is there anything better than a warm, cosy, sleeping baby on you? Beautiful! Oh, my ovaries). But: Now immobilised, you realise you haven’t been to the loo all morning and you recklessly downed a pint of cold squash minutes earlier You attempt the cot transfer with no success Your phone battery is at 1% just as the baby goes in for the mega nap The remote is miles away from your hand and the TV changes to Loose Women, who are harpishly debating something like breastfeeding You’re too uncomfortable to sleep yourself (pins and needles, itchy leg, cold feet) Breastfeeding HANGER strikes but snacks are no-where within hands reach Your tongue is stuck to the roof of your mouth and there’s no water left Out of nowhere, you sneeze ten times and wake them up. Or: The baby sleeps…in the pram / cot / on someone else (look! So beautiful and peaceful, can’t stop staring). Now: Time for hot tea! Or some food. Oh wait…you’re out of one or all of the following: tea, milk, biscuits, bread or butter Someone rings the doorbell (a courier, the postman – who does always ring twice – a chugger, someone selling windows or something completely random) Someone rings the doorbell with parcels…for your neighbours ten houses down the street. Every. Single. Time Someone rings the doorbell with such force that it falls off the wall and clatters down the hall The older child switches the volume level up to ‘Wembley stadium volume 11’ The older child suddenly discovers the Clangers flute you thought you’d hidden forever a few days ago A car alarm goes off outside your window You foolishly answer the phone to someone who wants a chat, when all you want to do is stare at the wall You go to nap and can’t, and the clock ticks on loudly You run around doing jazz hands and waste the whole time You drop a giant can of carpet cleaner on the stone kitchen floor and it bounces about ten times A mobile Christmas tree chipper that sounds louder than ten large haldron colliders operating at once parks outside your house and starts disposing of about three hundred trees (this actually happened) You frivolously decide to paint your nails during naptime…just before they’re dry, any one of the above happens and the baby wakes up. If you liked my naptime post, here’s some more… how my mobile makes me a better mum and baby milestone cards for mums

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Things no-one tells you about being a grown-up

Gillian — Fri, 11 Mar 2016 23:26:11 +0000

No-one ever really *feels* like a grown-up: When I was younger my friends and I often used to quiz our parents about when they felt that they were, officially, an adult. My friend’s dad always used to say that even on their wedding day he felt like it was all an elaborate game. Fast forward a couple of decades, and I really see his point. it’s not that I don’t feel old enough – some days I feel about 80 billion, with the eye armour to match – I just often feel like there must be some kind of a more responsible person around. Somewhere. And everyone is basically winging it too: Life, motherhood, anything really – everyone makes it up as they go along (I reckon). That a proper bra fitting is life-changing: Seriously! I didn’t get a proper fitting till my very early 30s, and it was amazing. One of my clients at the time was a major bra retailer where they are so skilled they can fit you by eye, and when I went to try it out for myself it turned out I’d been doing bras wrong for years. You always have a narrower back than you think. Having ones that fit properly changes everything. It sounds really trivial, but is not at all. You can make your own decisions, but your mother was (usually) right – Oh, the heady freedom of buying your own brand of butter and bread when you go to university…it all starts there. As a grown-up you can go to bed when you like, but your mum was right – it is better to get an early night (and early night does not mean faffing on your phone until midnight. Note to self). It’s OK to buy your own flowers, and you really should: Although nothing beats having flowers bought for you – especially the meaningful, romantic ones, and you should always be that girl on the tube with a giant bouquet and an even bigger smile at least once – you should totally buy them for yourself. Nothing’s more cheerful and cheap than a £1 bunch of supermarket daffodils. It’s that time of year, so you should buy loads. The brilliance of the post-birth vagina chat: Motherhood is a great leveller for social barriers, especially where the things you’d previously considered embarrassing are concerned. After giving birth, smear tests are a breeze. And you now think nothing of singing, loudly, in public, or walking down the street doing dance moves in full view of stationary traffic (with a child, obvs). Most of the time, you’re too tired to have any shame. I lost count of the amount of times I went to breastfeeding clinics or baby groups and knew all about the really intimate details of childbirth – all the gory glory, stitches and all – within minutes of meeting other mums. And it’s a topic you’ll always revert back to with your mum friends once you’re half a bottle (glass) of wine down, along with your post-birth sex life *ahem*. It’s a very instant intimate camaraderie, and it’s great. But why does it take motherhood to stop all the uncomfortableness? Why is it that women often feel embarrassed to talk about really intimate health-related things, even when you’re a grown-up? Canesten has launched a campaign to urge us all to get comfortable with talking about the often slightly #awkward topic of female health, and make sure everyone in empowered with all the information about their own bodies and the knowledge of how to take care of them (there’s also a new website with lots of info about the whole weird and wonderful world of intimate bits). To celebrate the new campaign, I’m giving away a £25 John Lewis voucher. Just use the Rafflecopter widget and leave a blog comment below to tell me – what topic have you ever been embarrassed to discuss? It ends at 11.59 on Sunday 3rd April. a Rafflecopter giveaway More posts…things no-one tells you about new motherhood, pregnancy, the third trimester and life with two children and two new competitions over on TalkMum – win 5 x 3 months’ supply of Pregnacare and a SwaddleMe bundle. This post has been supported by Canesten, but all words and thoughts are mine, as always.

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